The Value of “Yes, &”
What is “Yes, and”?
February 15, 2021How to Connect Off-Line
May 11, 2022Brainstorming
When I first introduce the concept of “Yes, &” I ask my participants “What do you think the value of this is to your organization and staff?” Almost everyone says “Brainstorming” or “I think it works well in a space where there are no wrong answers and we are looking for builds, not bombs.”
“Yes, &” does improve the effectiveness and quantity of results in a brainstorming process. The number of options people come up with when they are told they will not be shot down is amazing. I would think that most organizations would love their employees to come in with a blue sky attitude all the time, but there are more reasons to “Yes, &” everyday.
In my last blog I gave a few scenarios with “Yes” and “Yes, but” and I discussed briefly about how the interaction felt, but let’s think about it in greater detail. I talked about feeling like your partner checked out. How does this feel? How does it feel to get shot down day after day, conversation after conversation? It wouldn’t take long for some people to get angry or feel resentment. So how does “Yes, And” make people feel? This conversation takes us beyond brainstorming
Beyond Brainstorming
The thing about “Yes, &” that it can create a culture that fosters effective communication and encourages the free sharing of ideas. When used properly, people stay engaged in the moment. This creates a safe environment to share ideas, concerns, questions, and comments openly and without inhibition, and this builds relationships. Because we are heard, valued, and included this can level our status, making it easier for us to see each other as people and not titles. Teams are more connected, collaborative, and effective at finding solutions to problems because the value and perspective each person brings is more appreciated and utilized. Ultimately we create a safe environment to share ideas, concerns, questions, and comments openly and without inhibition.
Eric Farone
Partner, Apixii - Applied Improvisation Co-Owner of Bovine Metropolis Theater in Denver.
Engaged and Connected
“Yes, &” is an intimate act. I see you. I hear you. I understand you. I build on your ideas. This is not what most average interactions are like. The “Yes” component is so important that my next blog is going to focus on it completely. But for now, we should all realize the intrinsic value of being heard and being valued. That kind of connection creates positive interactions where I feel I can be more authentic and bring more of myself to work. This keeps people engaged and connected at work.
Level Status
Once I am seen and heard and my opinion is valued perceived status differences start to fall by the wayside. I don’t see you as just my direct report, I see you as a person. I am humanized and therefore I humanize you too. The simple act of “Yes, &ing” someone starts to bring you closer on the status ladder and makes it easier to build a relationship.
Build Relationships
Once again, building trust is the key component of any working relationship. Trust is developed when we create a safe environment to share ideas, concerns, questions, and comments openly and without inhibition. If I know you will listen to me and build with me to find consensus then developing a positive working relationship becomes a byproduct.
What is your Default?
Most people’s default answer to any question that suggests change is “No”. What if instead of the lazy, knee-jerk answer of “no”, what happens if I default to “Yes, &”? (I am not advocating that you always say “Yes, &”. There are times when you can’t “yes, &” because it is dangerous or impossible.) What I am asking is that you try to make your default “Yes, &” and not “No”.
We all want our teams and employees to feel more connected, collaborative, and more effective at finding solutions to problems. We want to value the perspective each person brings and make sure that they appreciated and utilized. “No” stops all this good will and feelings. Next time you hear yourself saying “no”, ask yourself is the true answer “no”, or is the lazy answer “no”? If you can say “Yes, &” try it and you will find a change in your relationship with your team.
The Value of “Yes, &”
The value of “Yes, &” is simply the act of seeing someone and letting yourself be seen, of listening to someone and of being heard, of finding value in people’s thoughts and ideas which ultimately gets people engaged and connected. It is valuing inclusion over the false notion that we have to have all the answers and must be on a higher level than everyone else. It is the act of valuing the relationship/person/employee more than I value being right.
The value of “Yes, &” is creating a culture of inclusion, authenticity and acceptance.